If we want our children to move mountains, we first have to let them get out of their chairs.

Nicolette Sowder

I want to start off by saying that I am very passionate about early childhood education. I spent many, many years of my working career working with children and families in many forms from an early childhood teacher to a nanny. I loved every minute of it! It was the most difficult, yet rewarding job aside from being a mom and homemaker that I have ever had.

That is why you will occasionally see a blog from me about childcare and preschool as well as advice to all the mamas out there, because if I haven’t experienced it with my own children, odds are I have experienced it with other children and families. This post is one from my preschool teacher perspective. I led a toddler class as well as a 2 year old class, but I will go out on a limb and say this applies to many age ranges in the early learning setting. Are you ready? Here we go!

Drop Off is Harder for You

Yes, I said it, and yes, it’s true! If you are the parent or guardian for that child who struggles with saying goodbye in the mornings, just know it is harder for you to walk away than it is for them to stay. There is always someone who will really struggle throughout the day, but most times after a few minutes the child has calmed down and is ready to mingle with their friends. Most of the time the anxiety comes from the transition rather than actually having to say goodbye for the day.

Here are some of my top tips for making morning drop offs easier on both you and your child:

• Don’t Sneak Away Please, I am begging you on behalf of preschool teachers everywhere, don’t sneak away. Don’t wait until your child is looking out the window or washing their hands, then bolt out the door. The devastation that follows for you child is HUGE! The feel abandoned, betrayed, and trust me when I say the next drop off will be twice as hard.
• Maintain a Routine Make each drop off the same for you child. Small children (and honestly most adults I know including me) thrive on routine. Every morning walk in and say good morning to the teacher, hang up jackets/backpacks, wash hands, etc. If your child knows exactly what will happen at each drop off, they will eventually find comfort in the routine. When you do get ready to leave, let your child know you are going to leave, give them hugs and kisses, tell them you will be back at the end of the day to get them, and that you love them. Then… LEAVE. Leave and don’t you dare turn around and go back if they are upset. Don’t do it! I mean, they are yours so you can if you want, just know that the more you go back the more upsetting it is for the child. Each time you walk away is a goodbye, and one is better than five.
• Call to Check In It is hard to walk away from our babies when they are upset. I completely understand this! Give it 5-10 minutes, then call and check in with the teacher or the admin. I worked at a center that had classroom cameras the parents had access too and I always encourage them to check the cameras once they got to work to ease their minds.
• Give it Time By time I mean weeks. Give it several weeks once you start a new center or preschool for your child to adjust. If they all of a sudden are having a hard time, give that weeks also to readjust. Kids go through emotional phases and it is very normal for them to start to struggle with drop offs. (You know your child best. If something seems extremely off, please set up a conference with admin and the teacher to get to the bottom of it.)

Children Have Conflicts

Almost every child I have ever met has had a conflict with a friend at some point or another. We have conflicts as adults; it’s perfectly normal. What we need to do is take a deep breath and work together with your child’s school to resolve the conflict, if it is indeed something that happens more than once. Set a plan in place with the teacher or admin (or both) and follow through. Yes that means follow through as parents. We need to all be a team, and we need to be using the same wording and consequences in both the home and the school.

The biggest piece of advice I can give regarding conflicts with your children and their school is to maintain your composure. If you get angry in front of your child, you will show them that is how conflict is handled. If you are struggling to come up with a resolution with the teacher, schedule a meeting with a member of the admin team, and possibly involve the teacher depending on the issue.

We Don’t Care What They Look Like

Listen… I am a mom and I like my kids to look super cute in the fancy clothes, but as a preschool teacher… leave the fashion at home. Preschool is messy! Play is messy! Fun and learning are MESSY! We go outside, we do science, we do art, and we eat spaghetti. Send your kids to us in clothes you won’t be upset about losing to some stains.

Speaking of clothes, be sure to always have a complete spare outfit with your child. Complete right down to the socks and shoes. Kids get messy, and potty training children have accidents. Children who are potty trained also have accidents and that is ok. When they are outside playing and don’t want to stop for a potty break, pee happens, and it happens right down their leg into their shoes. We love play clothes and Walmart clearance clothes an shoes!

If you have a little one who is obsessed with a certain article of clothing, don’t feel bad if they wear it all week long. I once had a little girl who wore a Rapunzel dress for two weeks. Her mom would wash it while she was asleep and we would start over the next day. She was so happy to twirl in that dress, I was happy she was happy, and her mom was happy I gave her the freedom of judgement. We don’t care! Happy kids are the goal, because happy kids grow and flourish in the preschool environment. Moms of wild little girls- this goes for their hair as well. It isn’t worth ruining your whole day over to get their hair done before you bring them in. I always tried with our oldest, however she still hates her hair done and she’s almost 6. Some things aren’t worth the fight, and I give you permission to let go of the intricate hair designs. You’re welcome!

Our Food is Just Like Yours

I used to get asked all of the time how I got a child to eat this or that. “What do you do to it Ms. Tara?” Nothing. The answer is nothing. There is nothing magical about the food we serve, it’s the magic of peer modeling. There will always be at least one child in a group that loves broccoli. When the others see that child eating that broccoli, they will try. Most of them will still not like it, but occasionally one will have a broccoli breakthrough, leaving their parents in disbelief.

Learning Looks Different

I have always worked in a play based setting, so I heard often “All they do is play.” Yes and no. First of all they are children. They are supposed to play. That’s how they learn! You see children playing with blocks, but what I see? Sorting, counting, problem solving, engineering, cooperation with their friends, and so much more. When children are playing in the dramatic play area, I see again problem solving, nurturing, science, and so much more.

Learning looks different in a play based center, but what is key to look for is the joy. Are the children engaged and having a good time? Are the teachers down on the floor with them, engaged in what they are doing and asking questions? Is there noise? (There should always be noise in a learning center. Not chaos, but laughter, talking, and the wonderful sounds of children making connections with their peers and the world around them.) Is there art displayed around the room for the children? I go into why I think preschool is a must a little more in depth in 5 Reasons Preschool is Necessary

What preschool teachers do looks so much different that what you will see in a public elementary school, but we just ask that you trust us and know that we are still teaching, even if we have playdough in our hair and paint on our hands.

~Tara