Happiness belongs to the self-sufficient. ~Aristotle

I have found myself so engrained in this lifestyle the past few years that it never occurred to me that others don’t find it rewarding, and many find it downright exhausting and not worth it. I am in a group on social media for homesteading moms and a post was put up a few days ago stating that this mom was warn out, exhausted, and overwhelmed with the lifestyle. She was asking how other moms do it all- the kids, the animals, the gardens, the cooking, all of it. I read through so many answers saying just tough it out, you can do this, keep going mama, and the like that it really got me thinking. Is this really supposed to be this hard? After reflecting for a bit my answer is “kind of”.

It’s Ok to Not Be Ok

I am the type of person who has to work at being upbeat and happy. No matter how hard I try, I naturally see the doom and gloom of a situation, and I have caught a lot of flack for it over the span of my life. It never fails that I run into those people who says things like “every situation has a positive” or “just smile and keep going”. I will say this once, and I’ll say it loudly “THAT IS TOXIC POSITIVITY!” It’s ok to not be ok all of the time. Now, does that mean I walk around like the sky is falling? Sometimes… but not always. There are many situations that you do, in fact have to put on a smile and power through. Guess what? There are also plenty of situations that it is perfectly ok to walk away from if they aren’t bringing you joy or serving you in a positive way. Say it with me “It’s ok to put this down and walk away.”

So, What Is Homesteading?

Homesteading has evolved over the course of time. What started as the right to claim land and cultivate it has now become living a more self sufficient lifestyle and getting back to our roots. Homesteading has also become one of those hot words used on social media and by influencers and has taken on a certain aesthetic of perfect gardens, animals all neat and tidy, beautiful pantries full of perfectly canned food, and from scratch meals three times per day and from scratch snacks in between. While I’m sure some homesteaders do live that life, I’m here to tell you that they are the minority.

The name The Huskisson Homestead actually started as a joke. When I started our first garden I was so darn proud of myself that I started posting pictures on my personal social media with captions like “Just farmin'” or “basically a farmer now” and the pictures would usually contain maybe four strawberries. I was having a great time and my friends thought it was hilarious. That evolved into posts saying “life on the homestead” and the like. It just kept growing right along with my garden and then came the chickens, I started learning how to cook, and well, here we are.

To me, homesteading is living as self sufficient as possible. Some days that may mean cooking all of our meals from scratch using ingredients sourced right here on our own property. Other days it may mean some quick mostly from scratch meals and a trip through the drive through, and that’s ok. I may be in the minority amongst the homesteading community, but I believe that your life will go through different seasons and your homesteading journey can follow through the seasons. When we are in the trenches with young kids, jobs, busy schedules, and so on, just baking a loaf of bread and cooking dinner at home might be all you are capable of. During those times when you are just fighting the daily battle of keeping up, don’t feel like you have to do all of the things to be a true homesteader! Listen to me- this is not the time to add a milk cow. Walk away from the Jersey! If raw dairy is important to you, source it locally and then after you have crawled out of this season of life you can entertain the idea of a milk cow. You are no less a homesteader!

Supporting Our Community

All of that to say, when we see mamas out in the wild struggling and asking for advice, let’s not tell them to smile and keep trudging along because it’s the homestead way, or “Well I work 50 hours have 16 kids and could never imagine feeding my kids a nugget”. That is just not helpful. Instead let’s give each other permission to set down the heavy things until we are in a better space and more prepared to carry them.

~Tara