Childhood means simplicity. Look at the world with the child’s eye- it is very beautiful.

Kailash Satyarthi

I started my Early Childhood career in small in home daycares. The first one was a HUGE learning experience… as in learning what not to do and what to look out for in the future. Some people aren’t cut out for working with young children and that’s ok, as long as you acknowledge it and find another career path. The second in home childcare I worked in was amazing. Like Mary Poppins amazing, and restored my love for the field, as well as my passion to always do better.

After the in home childcare experience I went on to center life. Big center. I started as an assistant teacher, then quickly moved to a lead teacher position with toddlers and 2 year olds. I also went on the become the director of that same center. Here’s what I learned- it’s ok to let go of come control.

Hear me out now, because I am the queen of the routine. I don’t mean have a free-for-all. I mean, does it matter if the small children paint their grizzly bear blue? No, it doesn’t. Does it matter if they insist on wearing their coat inside out? Not really, as long as they are warm. Most importantly….. does it matter if they mix the playdough colors together? I saw some of you cringe when I said that…. I saw you!

Can You Be Structured and Carefree?

Yes! Yes, you can and I am living proof that it can be done! I love routine. I love looking at the clock and knowing exactly what is coming next, and what we can cross of the list of tasks for the day because the time has come and gone and those things have been accomplished. When I have a routine and a schedule, I feel safe and I feel in control. The same with small kids. They need the stability of routine and predictability, but they also need the freedom to explore and form strong connections with the world around them.

My favorite way to explain it to parents and teachers back in my director days was that we, as the adults in children’s lives, are responsible for creating boundaries and a safe place to explore. Kind of like building a fence. It keeps them safe, and the most important part is that it doesn’t move. They are free within the fence, but it’s always there. That’s the security in it! It’s always there and they can move about and explore within the safety of the hypothetical fence, but the boundary of that fence is always in the same place. One thing I learned during my career working with many different types of children and family structures, is that the more rules that are imposed on children, the more undesirable behaviors become the front and center of the day. I’ve seen families who had a list of rules 10 feet long, and those children are usually hanging from the rafters. My home has exactly 2 rules.

• Be kind
• Be safe

That’s it. Be kind and be safe. I feel that all of the other things that pop up in rules can be covered by those two things. Hitting? It’s not kind so it doesn’t fly. Jumping on the couch? It’s not safe so it stops now.

I think what we really need to think about is, are these rules for us or are they for the children. If you sit down and do some deep thinking, you will realize most of the rules in your household are for you. Remember that Mary Poppins childcare I worked at that I referenced earlier? The woman who owned it was reading a story to a young girl one day. The girl would listen to about two pages of the book then go get another one. Same thing over and over, and Ms. Mary Poppins would read the books and close it up and wait for the next, over and over. When the girl moved on to another activity I asked her why she didn’t make her finish one book. She said “Why? I have already read them and know how they end, and she clearly isn’t interested. If I make her sit her and listen to the whole thing, who am I really punishing? Me.” It was such a common sense thing, and so simple yet so completely different than the first place I had worked. It was honestly mind blowing for me. It has shaped how I moved forward in my career and how I parent my own children.

The Child Brain

It has been proven time and time again by people way smarter than me that children learn best by doing. Hands on experiences will always reign supreme with children (and most adults if we are being honest.) With that being said… let your kids mix the playdough!

This was something that always grated on me when I was a director. Teachers demanding the playdough stay in it’s own separate colors. Why is this such a huge thing? My need for order understands on some level, however my knowledge of the young brain does not get it. Like, at all.

Let’s start my little rant I am about to go on by establishing a fact. The playdough is for the children. Playdough is also a stand in for whatever you would like to make it. The crayons, the paint, the toys, the sand box toys, etc. It’s not my playdough as a mom or an educator. Of course I bought it or made it, however I didn’t make it for myself. It’s for the children.

Which brings up my next question. If they don’t care if the colors are mixed into the most hideous brownish concoction you’ve ever seen, why should we? It’s for them! Instead of focusing on our need to control the colors, let’s focus on what they are learning by mixing them

• Cause and effect
• Color science (what colors mix to make new colors)
• Critical Thinking
• Investigative Skills (I wonder what happens if…)
• Color Identification
• Sensory Skills (visual and physical)

So, as I step off of my soap box I hope I have at least given you permission to let go of a little control and think about what the young brain stands to gain by having fewer rules and most importantly- mixing their playdough colors.

~Tara